just a thought. triggered.

there is a tinge of sadness in your eyes.
and for no reason i would understand it.
there's so much depth.
behind all the laughter, there's something...
something hidden. something discreet. unwanted memories, perhaps? or is it the thirst for something?...
why can't u be true to yourself and face your fear? face your doubts? face your lack of confidence?
wouldn't it be easier if you just let the doubts go and be free?
why would you consider so much?
why are you taking nano mini steps 1 at a time?
wouldn't it be better if you can just let down all the guards and just strive on, with confidence?
im sorry i don't get it.
i have no choice but to leave you behind.
and maybe, that is what you are hoping for.
your lacking of confidence made you dare not to even think of "what if...". and not even dare to be true to your feelings.
you are running away from facing yourself. and that, is the weakest personality above all.

i see you in my dreams again...

for two nights i see you in my dreams.

we interacted in the first but not the last.

there seem to be things to be told in the first dream when i encountered you.

things that are untold because you held it back and instead you said something that did not make any sense to me.

it is all so clear even after i have awaken from my dream.

you held something back...your eyes showed and told me that.

it is as if i knew... when i waved goodbye at you from afar, that as you see me you will come.

and in my dream, you did.

you came back to talk to me.

but what were you trying to say? why can't you just come clean on me?

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in my second dream, i saw you this time.. from a distance away. you were in your high school outfit (how weird is that? i never see you in your high school uniform before).. i smiled and waved at you as i ran past ( i was rushing, for some strange reason)..

but this time, we did not talk. you were a distant from me and that was not what i had hoped for. not even in my dreams. i thought dreams ought to be perfect? but why can't i get closer to you even in my dreams? .....................................

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