Regrets. Fool.

Dang!!

i made the wrong decision! i let myself down. > <

the worst decision i ever made in year 2008 or maybe worst in all these years!!

i turned down one opportunity to work what i wanted to do all these years, for one suck pc fair job just because i already signed up and promised to work for the pc company before this mobile DJ job offer came in.

机会只给准备好的人。。我准备好了吗？

after this "incident" where i turned down this GREAT opportunity, it's evident that i am such a fool. such such absurd thing to do to turn down something i wanted.

just because of one word "PROMISE".

*beat myself up*

*beat myself again*

at first when i called up for the pc fair part time job i knew, this is going nowhere. year by year working at PC fair ain't gaining me anything.

experience? been there, done that. not much to learn at pc fair. other than fake that smile for the picky customers. or unless you go there for the girls.. well, i am not interested in girls so... forget it.

why hadn't it occured to me to call everyone i know to ask for possible opportunity to get into media business?

such fool.

muka tak tebal lah... macam ni consequences saya.

muka saya have to be more tebal. else i won't have any future in this field.

regrets. ah... such regrets.

i told myself i want to make a change.

i tell everyone to make a change.

but did i?

no i didn't. i am still the old me.

man, feel like stripping off this old skin and become a new me.

dang, the old me is dragging me down.

*struggle*

i need a more confident me.