Sunday, June 28, 2009

A Tribute to Michael Jackson

used to listen to MJ's song when i was a kid. yet as i grew older, we can hardly see him on tv anymore.

last night, for the 1st time in my life, i watched MJ's past concert on TV. HE WAS AMAZING on stage! with the kind of stage effects in the 90s, imagine what kind of performance he can have in present days! his stage performance was SUPERB! looking at the fans screaming, crying and yelling for his name, i am pretty sure even for someone like me (who is not a crazy fan or count as a fan of MJ), would sure yell as hell if i were there.

his on-stage persona, his walk, his steps, the way he strut on stage, his dance moves, are all to-die-for. seriously.
some would say, "come on! a freak like him who had so much plastic surgery to get himself look like a white man?!" i would like to say.. HEY! the world would be a better place with less judgemental notes and more positive shed of light please! he's just a man that is greatly misunderstood by most people of the world. put yourself in his shoes, then i am sure you would understand better.

everywhere i go, in this past two days, people are saying "i am not a big fan but... it's just sad". yes, this news greatly affected almost everyone who grew up and grew old knowing him in his best days as a performer.

no matter what, wish MJ will move on with his journey and get to a better place where he can have his talent and soul prevails to the end of time.

Friday, June 26, 2009

RIP Michael Jackson

when I first heard of this devastating news in the morning, I was still in bed...quite lazy to get up just to be frank to say. The news did not really sink in though, probably because I was still 80% asleep.

it was after I watched some of the music videos he made, that i realised.. oh my god! MJ is dead! his songs were one of those i grew up listening to! how can this be happening? he hasn't even started his final world tour... we have lost a sensational artist!

MJ proved to us that Black or White, we are not that much difference after all. Races is something gifted, yet we as human always want to differentiate. The kind of stereotyping runs deep in our veins that even the minorities start believing they are minorities, believing that they are filthy and poor in comparison to those who are "better". it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, because reality is what it is as we constructed it to be.

MJ is born as a black, leaving the world as a white. isn't it well proven that no matter black or white, you are still you? he is still the legendary MJ?

apart from his outstanding works and performances, the numerous plastic surgery that he had undergone, further proves the length that he would go to get himself near to perfection. the whole life of MJ is just like a reflection of mirror for us. showing us what is talent, what is persistence, what is perfection; and at the same time showing us the kind of trouble we should avoid getting into at all cost.

today, i am sure tears spilled all over the globe in the midst of mourning for the lost of MJ. I cried too. I cannot say that I am an official fan of MJ. yet, knowing MJ since I was a kid, I felt as if i lost a distant friend.
a number of his songs are inspiring and i am sure they touch the heart of you and me.

we all know that life is short and we all want to do meaningful things before we die.
however sometimes, the reality of it would still come as a shock because there wouldn't be a tell tale signs to tell you who are you going to lose tomorrow.just like what i posted earlier today, self-doubt always comes in between for me. I figured, why should i be bothered by that little self-doubt? what if there's no tomorrow?

RIP MJ, may your talent and persistence prevails at the other end of realm.

i can go far

I am quite disappointed in myself.

because i know where my weaknesses are, yet i never do something about it. and my greatest weakness, would be my self-doubt and self-criticism.

i always try to give positive insight into things around me. but not enough to be positive about myself.

whenever i am ready to set foot embarking on the journey in fulfilling my goal, I would start sensing the doubts creeping in, clouding my judgement.

"are you good enough?" "don't be stupid" "you are making a fool of yourself" "you are not born to do this".

What can I say, self-doubt and self-criticism have been with me all along however I wanted to get rid of them.. they already become a part of me. Whenever I feel great at something i am doing, or feeling great with myself, there must be something there threatening to bring me down.

I understand that without me believing in myself, i cannot convince others to do the same. I know what my capabilities are, but how far i can go, how good i am, i am not sure. I guess this is where the doubts come in. and when doubts kicking in, things would go the other way round to my liking.

I understand that without trying, one will never know. I never did. I never try hard enough. Because in the end fear and doubt always take over. I beat myself, and i let myself down. For instance, I am very much interested in emceeing, and would love to make it as my freelance profession. I said it again and again, to my family, and to some of my friends. but apart from getting my namecard printed, i did nothing to promote myself. why? doubt is there coz I am good but not good enough. doubt is there because i CARE of how others would see me. "yeah right, as if you have that LOOK for an emcee". well, I do agree, most emcees are hot and emcee very well, they are born to do it. I, on the other hand, is not hot yet I believe i can emcee well.
and also if you say i am lousy, without exposing to experiences, how in the world will I improve? people grow i know, and i know i can too. it's just that i need to beat that self-doubt of mine that is caused by me who cared so much of how others see me.

i understand that people are people and I am me. but still i always care how others see me. which, makes me lose me in public. which caused me "building" up a "me" that is not "me" in the presence of others. that is why i always hear people saying that i am too serious-looking, proud, or whatever that sort. well, they will never know me until they get to know me. coz that was me in disguise, to make myself appear controlled and poised in public. and yes, I prefer to be in control of my environment. when i don't i tend to get tensed up which leads me becoming... stiff and boring, according to some people.

let me ask u a question here.. have you ever see me danced (swaying to music anywhere i am at), laughed loudly (real loud) and being talkative in your presence? if you did, then yes, i feel comfortable around you, and I believe you and I see you as a friend.

i am me, when i am with my friends, friends i trust and comfortable with.. and of coz, my family, and also when i am alone.

i am me, when i am in public and doing things i enjoy doing (in this case, presentations, emceeing). because i know i am good and i enjoy being on stage with all eyes on me; because i am there and i know i can impress the people i am presenting to.

but getting off stage, it is a different story.

"believe in yourself"

i can go far.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Plus-sized matters?

Nowadays, plus-sized models start to walk the runway, and are getting strong and more acceptable in fashion industry. Perhaps they see that plus-sized has big market potential, and that the designers finally care enough to know that plus-sized people love to look beautiful too. I mean, look around you, what is the probability that you will come across a "hot" woman with a to die for body walk down the street on a normal day? Plus-sized people deserves to wear designer clothings, too.

When we think of plus-sized models, more often than not we have this stereotyped mindset that they are fat, way fat. With layers of fat and bums here and there. But what is the definition of fat, really? For me, "fat" is a term that refers to people who doesn't eat a balanced diet, hardly exercise, and are fat without curves. Some, they are genetically fat yet I've seen some very successful examples of genetically-driven fat people eventually gain a more healthy image.

So what kind of healthy image that I am talking about here? That's the kind of image plus-sized models portray. Plus-sized models are not totally fat, because that wouldn't be a healthy image to portray to the mass audience. Plus-sized models have bigger bones, fuller figure, without losing their curves. That is what many if not most the smaller size models all yearn for but cannot achieve, the curves that plus-sized models possessed.

We all know that the definition of beauty lies in the hands of the trendsetters, namely the people who have their say in the fasion industry. It's really a bold thing to do, to answer the calling to stand against the still so typecasted views people have on plus-sized models. I believe some people still hold the thinking that plus-sized models shouldn't be on the runway. How awefully wrong they are.

For me, what's important in fashion is that as long as the models can bring out the essence and the kind of flair the designer clothing has, then being a plus-sized model or not, shouldn't be a problem. At the end of the day, as long as the "face", the "look" and the curvy body works the runway, the kind of impact that plus-sized models bring about is just the same as the impact any small size model can bring.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

self reliance by ralph waldo emerson- Originality

Originality by Ralph Waldo Emerson

At some point everyone realizes that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that like it or not, we are who we are; that despite the infinite abundance in the universe, nothing good can come to us except by working that little plot of land that we are given to farm.

Each of us is a brand-new power in nature.
No one else knows what we can do.
We ourselves don't even know until we've tried.

It's not for nothing that a face, a personality, a fact will strike a note with you but make no impression at all on me. Your mind is sculpted that way for a purpose. Your eye was placed in the path of a particular ray of light so that it could testify about that ray.

But what do we do? We don't halfway express ourselves before we become ashamed of that divine idea each of us represents. There's no reason to distrust that idea. It grew out of goodness and harmony, given to us in good faith. But God won't have his work done by cowards.

We turn out happy and refreshed when we put our heart into our work and do our best. Anything else gives us no peace; it's a shortcut that short-circuits. And when we try the shortcut we lose our inspiration, our muse, our creativity, our hope.

Monday, June 15, 2009

self reliance by ralph waldo emerson- Speak for Yourself

Speak Your Own Mind by Ralph Waldo Emerson

As brilliant as they were, the true contribution of Moses, Plato, Jesus, and the like is that they sidestepped history and tradition and spoke their own mind, not a rehash of what the experts agreed on.

True brilliance is noticing the little gleam of light that flashes through your own mind from within, not the neon signs of experts and world leaders.
But we give up on our own thoughts without a fight, simply because they are ours! In every work of genius, don't we recognize our own rejected thoughts? They return to us with a certain alienated majesty. The most important lesson we can learn from great works of art is this: to stand behind our spontaneous impression with gentle firmness, even and especially when the fans are all cheering for the other side. And if we don't? Tomorrow some stranger will come along and say quite eloquently what we thought and felt all the time, and we'll have to shamefully take our own opinion from someone else.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

self reliance by ralph waldo emerson- Genius

written by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

The other day I read some unusual poems. The poet wasn't famous for his poetry; in fact, he is a well-known artist, a painter. But the verses were so original and unconventional that they struck me, as I'm struck by any art that refuses to conform to convention, regardless of the subject or medium. It feels like the ghost of an old schoolteacher shaking a disapproving finger at my soul, scolding me for not remembering a lesson I should have learned by now. The frame of mind this kind of art puts me into is worth more to me than its content or message.
To believe your own thoughts- to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for everyone- that, is genius.
Say your secret belief out loud and it becomes the truth of the universe. In time, the innermost idea will expand to the outermost edge of the cosmos, and our first thought will be echoed back to us in the dying notes of the end of eternity.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Fighting 2009

no one would ever guess i would watch a movie like "Fighting". and yes, it is about fighting, underground fighting. this movie was not even on the top of my "to-watch-list" because i knew what kind of movie it will turn out to be- simple story, predictable plot and ending. having an urge to watch just about any movie after class today, i found out that there is limited choices for the 2 pm screening slot. Not planning to wait for extra two hours for 17 Again, i made an impulse decision at the counter (it was exactly 2pm that time), and chose Fighting over Drag me to Hell and a Hindu movie.

for the past few weeks, i watched X-men Wolverine, Star Trek, Angels and Demons, Terminator Salvation, almost all summer blockbusters. xD thus my choice for movie of the week is down to a few not so well received movies.

It turned out that, I liked "Fighting" afterall. not because of the actors, but because it is so simple that i liked it. The movie totally reflects the majority of the people living a hand to mouth existence. "I NEED MONEY" was what the main character Channing Tatum always had in mind. "I NEED MONEY" is what they all yearn for, not to be really wealthy, but at least, a secure income that can feed their young, and in the case of Channing Tatum, to prove that he has IT (as an inborn street fighter).
It not only portrays the realistic life of New Yorkers (not the white collars or blue collars, but those who live a life similar to the pirated CD peddlers/ Toy peddlers/ Gadget peddlers we have in our country).

unsurprisingly, this movie were granted the smallest theatre (cinema 5), and there were barely 15 audience at the 2pm slot (in comparison with Hannah Montana, Monster vs Alien, Night in the Museum 2 which was FULL). it is understandable, because people look for something that can take them away from the realistic side of the world, even for just a few hours. movies like Fighting, that portrays almost REAL life situations, won't get a second look at this movie.

from a rating of ten, i would give this movie a 5/10. it's a good try.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


after months and months of deliberation..
the obvious answer stood out.
at this stage of life...
preferably... no strings attached would be the best option of all.
i am not the type that understand what a relationship is.
i guess.

Friday, June 5, 2009

copywriting rocks!

Copywriting ROX!

indeed. life has been busy for me and my coursemates.
Copywriting. IMC. Advertising. all excitingly challenging subjects for me which gets my blood pumping! (LOL, exaggerated) but well, they are really what that i am looking for at the least. hehe
all three courses need us to think out of the world. okay, out of the box. (that's so cliche).
anyways, it was a lot of hard work, but also a lot of fun!
we get inspirations from the tiniest things around us and what comes out, is more than just an ordinary result. and that, is the best part about copywriting/ advertising.

our classes had been real challenging yet very satisfactory because we get to express our ideas freely! no limitations! (maybe there is limitations, but i don't think we know what it is yet, haha)

anyways, with a fictional Ad campaign coming up, and fictional IMC campaign coming up (all fictional, coz just applies within the boundaries of the university walls), my semester will be so much more fun! and jam-packed of course. xD
but i don't mind being busy. hehe
too much slacking will coz brain malfunction.
too preoccupied will also caused brain freeze i know, but no worries, coz i am the type of person, who knows how to balance up my schedule.
i'll relax when i feel like it, and increase my momentum in working as deem necessary. xD

so......... yeah. lastly, would like to say THANK YOU to those blog supporters out there (i wish i know who my supporters are, so i give credits to them here, one by one). Thanks for still being with me while i am showing tendency of neglecting my blog. NO, no, no. i am not going to. I love blogging. I'll try to make time to fit blogging into my schedule as often as possible so that you all out there know a thing or two about what's currently happening in my life. xD

and also, whatever happens remember "persist" and "believe". im signing out now.

cheers and love,